Tonight I came home at dinner time, dog tired with no idea what to fix for dinner... as usual.
I had alot of things to do and immediately started multitasking and worrying about all the things that need to be done but aren't... as usual.
I left the screen door open even though it was getting dark... not as usual.
Then a knock came and a voice called through the screen. I was annoyed. "What a terrible time to have a visitor, right as I'm fixing dinner and trying to do a hundred other things, and it's dark and there's no electricity. Terrible timing." I get so fixated on my own agendas. And then there are God's agendas.
It was a girl, a little younger than myself, who I've only met twice. Coming by and randomly greeting at almost any hour is a big thing here, so I thought (with annoyance) that is why she came. She sat down and I asked how university was and this and that and she smiled... and her eyes filled up with tears. It's not too often I get a random guest at night who bursts into tears. With death being so prevalent here, I was sure someone had died.
But it wasn't that at all. She wanted to talk about a relationship with a guy that had gone bad. She had done all the right things, been pure and honest in her relationship with him, and he had been dishonest and undependable. And she was grieving. She is one of those rare gems will overflows with compassion for everyone, who wants to see the best in everyone. She apologized for coming so randomly and crying...
Then I began to cry, too. I needed a friend just as much as she needed one. It's hard always talking about the struggles of being single to people who are married. And we were able to share with one another. There's no big solutions, mostly laughter and tears and the encouragement to lift your head and howl for a bit, then move on! We were encouraged by one another.
In this culture it is especially difficult to be single because a woman's identity is based on her husband and children. Even the name she is called reflects that. Being single here means you don't have much identity, you are still a child, and you are hounded daily to get married. It's not easy.
And then there are friends who feel just the same as you do about being single. We lift each other up in prayer and laugh and cry and live in this strange, challenging time of life that sometimes feels like we are slogging through the mud and being pulled down by the culture we live in. And that's why God brings us together as friends- to pull each other through the mud, to keep each other from being sucked under. I'm so glad I didn't close the door tonight!